Why is love hard?

I will never forget the time I sat in a group of a dozen or so church-going men.  I asked the question, "How many of you have trouble experiencing the love of God?"  Nearly all the hands went up.

Ironic. I thought the love of God is the easy part of the Gospel. Obedience, self-discipline, I thought these are the really hard things.

I wonder if maybe the love part is the hard part.

Look at a loved person, someone fully overwhelmed with love -- the fiancé moments after a marriage proposal, a child wrapped in towels after bath time.

What do these people have in common? 

No self-consciousness, no strategy, no sense of their own accomplishment. Love turns you to mush. 

I saw it happen in my life.  I don't give money to pan handlers in NYC.  I feel like I have a good understanding of the systems that create poverty, and passing out cash on the street is not the way I fight those systems.  But the other day, God met me on the West Side boardwalk.  I knew His love for a few seconds -- moments later I saw a pile of blankets on a park bench.  Something supernatural forced me to break with my routine.  I didn't know exactly what would come out from under the pile, but I was willing to stop and see.  When I am loved I am a different person.  That I know.

Love leads to vulnerability.

Religion on the other hand is our effort to avoid the vulnerabilities of life. Everything in me avoids love.  I want to be sure, first.  I want to have all my theology clear.  I want to be confident in my own obedience because God requires obedience.  To love is to keep His commands (John 15) right?  So what could be wrong with just following all the rules?

Love is also hard because I want to win. The social and political struggles in this country are real.  I don't really want to let down my guard.  I want to push for victory against the bad guys.

But what if there is something more important than victory?

Brennan Manning says that at the end of time the question God is really going to ask is "Did you believe that I loved you? And is your life a response to that love?"

I can't really say for sure if that is right, but something in my life tells me it is true.

So here is my New Year's resolution, to ". . . know and rely on the love God has for us." (I John 4:16b)