Why is it so hard to walk your own journey?

I can't believe its been three months since I wrote a few lines to you.  I have missed you.  To be honest, I have been taking a detour from my journey.

You know, its hard to walk your own journey. 

Its much easier to rush after someone else, or just to follow the constant stream of life that is provided to us electronically.  Maybe it was my calendar, our my in box, the headlines, or my facebook newsfeed. Is it any wonder I am glued to my phone where all these streams converge ready at all times to entice me to respond.  Or maybe it is the constant call of little voices that call me, dad. 

Do you know what I mean?  The life of constant, mild panic.  In the last few months, five of my staff at work resigned.  That's enough to send any team leader into panic.  And its hard to walk your journey when you are running in circles wondering if the sky itself will fall down any second.

It really is hard to walk your own journey. 

Thankfully, I have a bike.  It's on the open road with my bike that I remember that I have a journey to travel.  When you walk your own journey. it is often a bit confusing and painful, but you know it is the murky water you were meant to walk through.

I have pain to feel, joy to rest in, decisions to ponder, confusion to muddle through, and hurt to embrace.  Urgency and panic and my cell phone insulate me from these things and distract me from my journey.

There's a funny thing about Scripture.  Gradually through hundreds of pages, we learn more and more about God and finally at the pinnacle of revelation when Jesus himself shows up in the text, He doesn't offer ten theological axioms that perfectly summarize the main truths to believe.  He says simply, "Follow me." 

Come apart from the daily grind and travel the journey you were made to travel. Give away all these things you are trying to manage, you "perfect" young ruler!   Give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Know the destitute, freedom of homelessness, just like me, Jesus is saying.  Take up your cross, your shame, your pain, your confusion, and walk your journey up the Via Delerosa, just like I am walking up Mine.

Ah, the sacred whisper compels me.  I have heard that voice before.  Will I turn back sadly or follow him into the wild unchartered territory of the journey that is meant for me? 

God, give me the courage to walk the journey I was made for!!!