Why is going home such a big deal?

Waiting for my plane. Ready to fly North.

 

It is the third time I am traveling those 2,000 miles in the last 4 months, but, like every trip home, it feels entirely unique.

 

What is it about going home?

 

I am sure you know the feeling. There is excitement and also a feeling like a wet rag is stuck in your gut somewhere.  Places we live as adults are chosen.  I moved on my terms. But not home. You don't choose where is your home.  It chooses you, and you are internally compeled to go back.  There is an un-named longing, part joy and part anxiety. In relation to your home, I think one is always a child.

 

Maybe that is why it is hard. You must become a child to go home.

 

Is that why so many stay away?  Is it why others refuse to leave?

 

I am going home.  My dad is also getting ready to go home. 

 

Jeaus said you must become like a little child to come to him. I wonder if this is the feeling he was talking about, the feeling that something deep is carrying you along. Something wonderful and scary and entirely greater than you is gently compeling you, carrying you home. 

 

God give me the strength to let you carry me home. God, please give dad the same.